Surely, there are several reasons for this terrible situation, when all young athletes want to do is play and have fun. Among these are specialization, resulting in injuries, pressures from parents, and playing for what I think are the transactional (command style) bully, narcissistic coaches who coach with fear, insults, embarrassment, and sometimes even physical force or punishment. Many of these coaches had similar role models who prioritized winning over the physical, mental, and social development of their athletes.

I know this type of coach because I played for one on an elite high school lacrosse team that won 91 straight games, numerous championships, and college All-Americans, proudly myself included. We played our best to prevent the harsh treatment of this transactional coach.

Having graduated from Penn State as a physical education teacher, I knew I wanted to coach. Here was this young hotshot who figured if he coached like his high school coach, he too would win games and get the glory. Maybe he would move up to the college ranks. It was all about me, and I was using my athletes for personal gain. Over the years, I gradually changed to a more cooperative coach.

Then, I read the book “InSideOut Coaching” by Joe Ehramm, and it really inspired me. All new coaches should be required to read the book before starting their coaching career. It was hard work because there was a lot of soul searching involved. As Ehramm would say, “You cannot do anything on the outside unless you know what’s going on inside.”

Ehramm was a successful football player at Syracuse University, coached by the legendary Beb Schwartzwalder — a transactional coach — before moving on to the Baltimore Colts and Detroit Lions, where he worked with more transactional coaches. After his playing days, he became a minister, and during his ministry, he discovered that many of the youth boys had no positive male role models. Either there was no father, a distant father, or an emotionally and physically abusive father. There was no one to teach them how to grow up like a man who displays empathy, integrity, grace, respect for himself or others, and who could communicate correctly and develop meaningful relationships, and express their feelings.

Ehramm and a few others set out on a task to try to help boys become good men. They developed the InsideOut — Transformational Coaching Style. It is defined as a transformational coach who is dedicated to self-understanding and empathy, viewing sports as a virtuous and virtue-giving discipline. Transformational coaches believe young people can grow and flourish in sports in a way that is more liberating and instructive than what can be achieved through other activities.

Here are some small things that can add up to helping young athletes grow with communication and relationships.

1. Meet with players and parents before the season to explain this transformational style. Many parents and their kids have not experienced this style of coaching.
2. When players enter the field or court, encourage high-fives, fist bumps, and elbow taps. Ask them about their day. I ask parents to provide us with a few things their kids excel at or like, so I can use this information to connect with all athletes.
3. Use skill games under pressure to simulate game-like situations instead of boring drills. Games under high intensity develop game-like conditioning and game sense.
4. Take five or 10 minutes at the end of practice to discuss communication, respect, integrity, sportsmanship, and more.

» ALSO SEE: Practical programming for young strength coaches

I am sure there are many other ways to develop the culture of communication, relationships, respect, and caring, but these are a few ways to get started. Remember, sports are all about the athletes and not the coaches.

The post Promoting transformational coaching in your athletic programs appeared first on Coach and Athletic Director.